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| Say Cheese! |
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| @ Pizza Paradiso in Old Town |
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| @ the playground |
Our whole family is preparing for my cousin's wedding on October 1. I just ordered Liam's suit/tux for the wedding. I got a 3T size and he tried it on. He kept saying it was "too tight" - but he says that about everything. I think it's just his way of saying something is uncomfortable. He looked super cute in it, but he did not want to wear the Jacket or the tie. Grandma has to hem the pants. And I still have to buy his shoes. He's been practicing his walking-down-the-aisle with a pillow and can even "sing" the wedding march.
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| You can see the tears in his eyes after his fit from us trying to get the jacket and tie on him |
He has become more picky with clothes, preferring green, blue and orange shirts.
He is a master of mimicry. We are teaching him how to count to 10 in Spanish. He's mimicked some of the "exclamations" his dad says to the horrible DC drivers we encounter... haha it's pretty funny (although should not be)!
I signed Liam up for toddler gym classes at our local My Gym. We got a free class and 4 weekly sessions for $49 (I think the subsequent monthly fee thereafter is $60/month - still not bad!). He seems to enjoy it, but he can not sit still for anything. There's a structured "circle time" at the beginning and end of the class and he will squirm his way out. He's fine in the beginning, but just wants to run around after a while. He is no doubt the biggest (not oldest) in this group which is for 14-22 month olds. Some of these kids aren't even walking yet. Other than that, he seems to enjoy it and more importantly it gives him a chance to be around more kids.
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| the dreaded "circle time" |
I've mentioned in previous posts that Liam has become quite a terror. It has just gotten worse. I'm not so much worried about tantrums now (I think all of us in this household have learned to deal with the crying fits), but more so about the physical harm he inflicts on others and things. We've put off doing a time-out type of punishment until recently when he struck and squeezed his BFF Scarlett in the face and gave her a black eye. :( **Scarlett, we love you!** That was the last straw. Changes needed to be made.
So the days after that incident we tried and are currently enforcing a time-out where we hold him down (he won't stay in a chair) for a minute if he does something bad after we tell him not to do it. Then we make him apologize to the person he hurt or disobeyed.
This may be working, but I don't know if we just need to give it more time or try a different method. Last night I had to hold him 5 times in a row because he continued to do something bad right after the time-out. I broke out the pack-n-play today to place him in instead of holding him down (that gets tiring). I was just skeptical about using it because I read that you shouldn't use a crib for punishment because the child may associate the crib with punishment and then not want to stay in his crib for sleep. We still use the pack-n-play for trips away from the house, but it's not like we go anywhere so often, which is why I decided to bring it out to use for time-out.
I also read on a forum about making signs with simple graphics to illustrate what you should not do to others - like a hand hitting something, foot kicking, etc. The author of the post said that their child's daycare started each day with the kids going over the rules with graphics like this. If Liam is anything like me (preferring visual rather than verbal direction), then he should be able to grasp the rules better.
If anyone can give me suggestions on what has worked for you, or what has not, please let me know! My situation is unique in that my mother and grandmother act as his daycare - I am not a stay at home mom, but I also do not work outside the home. So I know what works for some, may not work for others (I learned that early on in motherhood!), but I'd like to hear what you would do in my situation. I know social interaction is an important part of learning how to share and make friends, which is why I wanted to enroll him in some type of class to get him exposed to other kids.
Thanks for your help!
Hopefully I won't wait as long to make another update. I just updated the shutterfly with all the photos from August and some from September, so be sure to check that out!
6 comments:
First, Liam is SO cute in his little suit. I just love dressed up toddlers! Good luck getting him into the full get up on wedding day. They sure are getting opinionated!
As far as the naughty behavior goes, I have read that it can take 20 (!) sessions of time out for a toddler to really get it and change his behavior. Don't give up!
We also got a book from the library the other day called "Hands are not for Hitting". If Liam is a visual learner that might be a good tool for teaching him. Asher was hitting me when he got mad a while back so we were trying everything and this book really seemed to help! They have a whole series including "Feet are not for Kicking" and "Teeth are not for Biting" - depending on your particular issues.
You're doing a great job and I am SURE Liam will grow out of this. Stay consistent and he'll get it soon.
We really need to check out the Reston Zoo soon - looks like fun!
Bennett wore a "tux" for my little Sister's wedding in May and I think it gave him heat rash. They get so warm in them, but they are sooooooo cute! :) I can't believe he's in 3T!!!! What a big boy! hehe
I have trouble disciplining Bennett as well. Everytime we put him in Time Out, he laughs. And continues to laugh... and I don't think it gets through to him but I guess we just keep doing it...???
Sometimes I swear something comes over Bennett and he like lashes out and gets violent. I am going to get the book from the library that Emily mentioned, "Hands are not for Hitting". I hope this helps him understand it hurts people!!!!!
Good luck with Liam!!!! Disciplining is tough!
I don't really have very many words of wisdom or advice b/c I've found that Kaylan hasn't ever been very physical except for pushing Dylan down from time to time. Whenever that happens, I'll comfort Dylan and pull get Kaylan's attention by holding both of her hands with both of mine and tell her that it is not nice and to give little brother hugs and kisses. I've found more success with getting the point across if I kneel down to her level, to where it doesn't seem like I'm looking down on her.
The picture cards seem like they would really help too!
This age is so tough! They are learning how to communicate better, forming their own opinions, and realizing that they have some control over what they do. And when they don't get their way, chaos ensues! And it's hard to know just what they understand.
With that said, obviously you can't overlook violent behavior and I really think that consistency is key. I also don't think that time-outs (or any punishment for that matter) should be used lightly. You really have to pick your battles, especially with kids! If you put him in time-out for every little thing he does that you don't like, then it'll be harder for him to understand. But if you only put him in time-out when he hits or hurts someone, then he should get the hint much more quickly.
Maybe instead of saying "No hit!", you could just say no, or say, "No hit, no!". Repeat the no so the last thing he hears isn't the word hit. When I look at Jack sternly and say "No", I make sure I say it in a different voice so he knows I mean business, but that little rascal just looks amused! Luckily, I haven't had to put Jack in time-out yet and honestly, I'm not sure he would really get the concept. But we're getting closer to that point because he has started saying, "stop!" when I try to take something from him or get him to do something. I'm not sure where he learned it from, but occasionally he says it while pushing me away/borderline hitting me. So if he does start hitting, he will definitely be going in time-out!
I try to understand that he is still so young and isn't sure how to deal with his frustrations, but it's still hard! I think they just use their hands to communicate because they don't know the words yet. It takes a lot of patience on our part!
I'm not sure if anything that I said will actually help you at all, but I think you're on the right track. Just be consistent and know that you aren't alone!
P.S. I love him in his little suit!!!!! Adorable!!! I hope he cooperates for you on wedding day!
Hm. This is a tough one. Every kid is so different. I agree with Rene in that this age is one of finding their own control. It is a good thing in some respects...but definitely trying in others. Like in your case with the violence.
I never used a specific shair with Cameron. We always sat him in the corner...from about 2 on. They say if you try and use a specific chair or specific item in your home that if you need to give a time out elsewhere they will be confused. (obviously this depends on the kid). I would definitely use the PN over trying to hold him down for sure. I think that holding him down would just make matters worse. Make him more anxious and angry because he doesn't understand why you are holding him down...Know what I mean?
Also like Rene' said you have to pick your battles. If you are telling him "NO" for every thing it looses it's effectiveness. I have always tried to leave the word no out of my vocubulary unless it was something very serious. I used phrases (and still do with Cameron and Ethan) like "We don't hit, that hurts, ouch" I find that acting very dramatic about it hurting is pretty effective. They see you sad and saying ouch, and look at you funny...but it sinks in. Both boys now have done the same thing...looked at me for a while and then said "hurt mommy" I then take that opportunity to say "Yes, you hurt mommy, ouch, we don't hit, mommy like nice touches" I know it sounds crazy and like it wouldn't work but it does. It's definitely worth a try. You could also do this and then tell him "when we hit we get a time out" Then if he does...put him wherever you plan for timeout...and walk away...don't respond...even if he gets up and follows you. At this age him staying put really isn't the important part it's no interaction form you. Then when the minute has passed you can walk him back to the timeout spot without talking....sit him down and tell him "You got a time out because you hit me and we don't hit" and ask for an apology. Obviously if he is hitting another child you will want to make sure he stays in the general area of his timeout spot and that nodoby else gives him attention either. As he gets older in the next few months you can be more firm with keeping him in the spot. I bought a little rug for Cameron in his corner...and by two if I told him he needed to stay on his spot he could understand what I meant. Like Emily said 20 times for them to get it! Frustrating...but if you are consistent...and make sure your mom and grandma are both consistent with what you are doing at home, it will pay off. I totally undrstand how frustrated you are with it...and believe me there will be more phases like this at every age. Consistency consistency consistency! That is definitely the key, no matter what the age ;)
Ok...done with my novel to you. Lol.
On another note....I love that little suit! So cute! Can't wait to see pictures! I hope he does great at the wedding this weekend!
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